The Crack Shack (San Diego, CA)

 

To: Any followers left after my disappearance in 2018

Thank you, 💕

    We all know what happened in 2020... So, a little about me: I was a Collateral Asset Base Manager for Wells Fargo. Just a fancy "title" for Collateral Auditor. 

To explain why this is important, I already traveled 60-75% of the time prior to 2020. In total I worked for Wells, almost 13 years and in between for 7 years, I was a small business underwriter for American Express (the credit cards). You know, the Mythical Centurion Card? Secret black card made out of titanium and closely guarded, known only to famous people. Well, if you are rich, or just pretending, it isn't really that hard to get one, but then again, I am the one who used to approve them? Don't get me wrong, it has some great perks, but beginning at around $10k on the low side as an annual fee, I think there are better ways to spend your money. 🤷‍♀️

Point being, I was built for the pandemic and I couldn't wait to spend some time at home.

Now that the backstory is out of the way, I was the "Seeker of Knowledge," and still am, which is fitting in my new self employed role of Perspective Consultant after retiring with no debt at 40. What does it mean? I don't know, I just listen to your perspectives and then offer to share my perspective with you based on my perception of what you are really trying to tell me. That's how I might be able to see your hearts true wish. But, to do that I have to see your perspective. Get in your mind, if you will...

But, hang in there, this is where it gets weird. Think Liam Neeson - 😎

"Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now that'll be the end of it... you know the rest"

So, yes this journey was so that I could share that message with the world. You see my one true wish is that all the babies grow up in a better world. So I'm keeping my eye on all of you, as I have always quietly done when I needed to. But speaking up when I knew it was important. Thank you "G" for inspiring me.

A friend inspired me on Facebook where he shared his perspectives, along with being part of my Bulldog family. Some great quotes BTW, but what really caught my attention was when he posted something about why he clicks the like button, even when he doesn't leave a comment. He just wanted them to know that he saw them and appreciated them. 👍

So, if you haven't figured out by now, it's much easier for me to show you what I do, then to explain it. It's very difficult when people I have known a long time respond to my texts with disbelief that I've never lied to them, simply because they never made an effort to actually get to know me. Most of their poor perceptions are due to the fact that they didn't really know me or even make an effort to see my perspective.  

 I lost a very good friend and realized life is too short to not thank the people who have been a part of my life and impacted me the most, by showing me their perspectives. 

If you asked the people closest to me they could share their perspectives of me with you, much better than I can. Also, I'm done explaining myself to everyone who doesn't understand, because their lack of perspective doesn't allow them to see what I do. It's an effort in futility trying to convince someone of something they lack the intelligence to understand.

So the way this works, is I need you to trust me or I can't help. I can only be as honest as the person sharing their perspective with me. If they are lying and trying to hide something, I can tell they aren't being sincere, but unless they tell me why, I'm just taking guesses as to why what they are saying makes no sense to me.

We have all the time in the world, patience is the key. Especially when people haven't ever heard your real voice. They get uncomfortable and think maybe you are a little weird, maybe even 😜🤪? More on that later. Patience was the key to unlocking my own brain through therapy though. Therapy on myself, who better right? The human who knows me best, myself.

So the way this works, is I need you to trust me, so I can see your Trauma, more later on that. I don't know why... I had a 🤪 childhood, most would say scary, but I just shrug them off. It never phased me. Humans #1 basic instinct ingrained in all of us at birth, in your DNA, is self-preservation. Does anyone reading this know the true definition of a heroic act? I do 😉 (Google it, see for yourself) 

I studied Child Psychology in college, because as a kid I met many family therapists and counselors. They often mentioned to me that I might be a great counselor, since I had been through the ringer as a kid and came out okay some how. I could relate to others in a way many of them couldn't. 

So maybe, it's not that weird after all.🤷‍♀️  That I can see trauma, 💙 because if I didn't, I could have been in serious trouble on many occasions as a kid. I had to show compassion and understanding to adults who never understood me, especially when they were drunk and abusive. Drinking problems are usually caused by trauma, does that make sense now? 😉

Anyway, I only ask you to share your perspective with me, allow me to use my "perception" 👀 to share my perspective with you. Maybe I can grant your true hearts wish 💔sometimes hidden by trauma. I found that most wishes people have are pretty simple and not that far out of reach, they just require a little effort. 

My recent trauma allowed me to see what it must be like for individuals who don't have a voice, at least not one most can hear. Now, do you see where I'm going with this? Maybe I can be their voice and aren't innocent little babies voiceless? But what is usually the first thing an infant sees when it enters the world, or at least where does it see the love? 💞 In their mothers eyes, the windows to the soul. 🤔 Maybe all babies can see into their mother's souls and see the trauma like I do. 🤷‍♀️ But, maybe we all do and some us are just better at it for some reason and they well really I (I don't know if anyone else can do what I do) can see the deepest traumas in your soul the ones breaking your hearts 💔? And... maybe I can see how to make you whole 💞, but I have to understand you before I can tell you.... 🥱😴 more updates later, I think 🤷‍♀️ or just look more closely 👀...

It's much easier for me to try to help in person in a setting where you are most comfortable (like a therapy couch). However, it makes no difference to me either way. I'm just offering my perspective to help you learn to control your own destiny. Your journey is no longer my concern, I learned how to shed the weight of the world and focus, when I finally realized I can only be responsible for my own actions, yours are of no concern to me. But, all the babies are innocent and they don't deserve all your negativity and B.S. - Yes, all of you on this earth. 

So I've been writing a children's book (inspired by my daughter, to hopefully make the world a better place for all the babies to grow up in). Helping the people closest to me on their journeys and listening to as many perspectives as I can to eventually finish the adult book for the rest of the world.

If you know who I am ask others about me, not me I can't explain anymore, besides this is how I also make a living, so I have to keep some secrets to myself. So if anyone there has received a random message from me just thanking you, it's because you have helped to shape my perspective, so Thank You

That word, yeah you know the one 🤪 if no one has ever thought you were, or are, then you yes YOU have no right to ever use that word again, unless we say it's okay! Understand?

I will end with this, thanks to Matt at Demolition Ranch (YouTube)

Young men work to make a living, Grown men work to make a difference, And this Old man is now working on leaving a legacy... for all the innocent babies, but especially mine. 

I'm still 👀 all of you and if you see this, maybe you are starting to finally, understand?👉